Funny dirty sex. 101 Dirty Jokes

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101 Dirty Jokes

funny dirty sex

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. A: The sex is the same but you get to use the remote. The note read: The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed. They go out together on a night out. If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car! Q: What's the difference between light and hard? Again, there's a bright flash. But what's up with the black eye? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

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Sex Jokes

funny dirty sex

Q: Why did the pornstar have to retire? A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time! He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The son comes running up to his mom and says. A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going! A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Q: What do you call it when a boy and girl make love for the first time? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod. When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. A: When you're having sex in the shower. Q: Whats the worst thing about dating a blonde? A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.

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101 Dirty Jokes

funny dirty sex

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Q: What do you call a Muslim stripper? Seeing she was overwhelmed, he asked what caused her sudden curiosity. The bartender motions to a young woman. Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut? Then, he asked his son to take it back to the lady in the kitchen. Have you noticed that more and more women are having their navel's pierced? A: You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere. But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man. Sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel.

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Funny Sex Jokes

funny dirty sex

I jackhammered her and slapped her on the ass as I pummeled her. Boy: Sure i do, man was i scared, i was all alone. A: youseen memuff Q: What do you say when balls are slapping against your chin? Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language. Q: What does the sign on the whore house say, after they have closed for the day? A: It's no big thing unless you aren't getting any. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole. Q: What is hard and pink when it goes in and soft and wet when it comes out? A: He wiped his ass Q: What kind of sex do pizza delivery boys have? Mouse: How do you fuck the computer? Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don't Multiply! Q: What do blondes say after sex? Why do men have a hole in their penis? Q: What do you call a fat girl having sex? We're never going back to that restaurant anyway.

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100 Sex Jokes That Are 100% Funny And 100% Dirty

funny dirty sex

A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat! Q: What do you get when you cross a potato with corn? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Wanna know what slut stands for sexy, large, unforgetable, tits Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life. Q: Did you hear about the man who was arrested for having sex with a horse? A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up. Q: Why is oral sex with an ugly person like rock climbing? My life is so messed up that I feel like shooting myself. I'm the one going to be eaten.

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101 Dirty Jokes

funny dirty sex

A: They don't want to wear out the camel. A: Where you put the cucumber. That's because its a handy place to hang the air freshener. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Moral of the Story: In life, you're on your own once your fucked.

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Sex Jokes

funny dirty sex

A: Because he saw a plow truck. She went down fine but came up with a hole going right through her tongue and out the side of her mouth! Q: What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex? A: It got marmalaid Q: What is the metric equivalent of 69? A: a 10 foot cock that wants to touch someone. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense. During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken. Q: What do you get when the pope is having a shag? Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count? Q: Why is fresh air a lot like sex? A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you put a load into it Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize an egg? A: Don´t talk to the guy in the middle, he´s a dick. When finally Grandpa was done pontificating, the little girl stood frozen, as though nailed to the spot, and looked at him with her mouth open, eyes wide in amazement.

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100 Sex Jokes That Are 100% Funny And 100% Dirty

funny dirty sex

And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs? A: If she has to chew before she can swallow. A: Flash Drive Q: How does a car have sex? After a couple of weeks he comes home and tells his wife about it. Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? Some say monogamy is the same. Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to take this to the poor dude upstairs. Dear young girls losing their virginity. By mid-morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home.


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101 Dirty Jokes

funny dirty sex

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He vowed to get one for himself. Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. .

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Sex Jokes

funny dirty sex

Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common? A: A clit around the ear and a flap across the face! Q: What do you call 2 jalapenos haveing sex? Then I pulled it out, turned her around and blew my load all over her face. Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. Q: What is the difference between women and a washing machine? Why did the chicken cross the road? The drug company will be glad to pay for any damages. Q: Why are pubic hairs so curly? Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a blonde? A slutty chicken says any-cock-will-do. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The first guy decides to pick grapes. A: In his defence he claimed it was a stable relationship.

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